With Love, Sarah
by CaptainRogersGirl0829
Summary: 10 year old Sarah Rogers writes letters to her father when he's in the hospital. And she continues to do so when he's not... Character death! Nat/ Steve
1. Chapter 1

**Month 1**

Dear Daddy,

Mommy told me what happened. She said you were hurt because you were protecting her from getting hurt. I asked her, well... I kicked and screamed until she and the others let me see you. I know how you feel about me seeing you when you're hurt, but I had to. You looked horrible daddy. Just seeing you made me cry. I'm scared because you've never been hurt this badly. I wanted you to be awake and talking to me. Telling me that everything would be okay. That you'd be up and walking in no time. But you didn't. And I didn't know how to speak to you because you won't reply back. So Uncle Bruce suggested I write you letters. I find it easier to write them then speak, so here's my first letter. I love you so much daddy, feel better soon cause I miss you.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

It feels wrong leaving you at the hospital when mommy and I go home. I'd rather stay with you all the time, but the doctors say I can only stay during visiting hours. Mommy, however, can stay whenever she wants. I asked uncle Bruce why and he said she's your next of kin, whatever that mean. But I'm glad that sometimes you'll have someone by your side at all times, in case you wake up. I don't want you to be alone when you do. But sometimes mommy doesn't stay with you, she goes home with me. It's both a relief and worry. Relief that I'll have mommy when I cry and worry that you'll wake alone. I love you. Wake up soon so I don't have to worry anymore.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

I went and visited you today after school. Did you know I was there? Did you hear my voice? I hope you did. Guess what happened at school today! My class found out what happened to you and so they all wrote letters to you. I didn't because I already write you letters. Daddy you need to wake up. Some of these letters are really amazing. You inspired so many people with your strength, and courage. Your everyone's hero, but mostly your my hero. Captain America inspires people, but Steve Rogers- my daddy- inspires me. Wake up soon.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

I listen to your music daddy. Remember the kind where I complain about it being to old school? It's all I listen to now. If you wake up, I promise to never belittle (uncle Tony helped me with that word- it means to make something have lesser value then what it is) your music, movies and the way you talk ever again.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

I miss your voice. I miss you singing to me at night or telling me stories about uncle Bucky. You may not have had the best singing voice like mommy, I still loved it either way. Mommy took to singing to me and Uncle Tony offered to tell me stories about his daddy even though I remember you telling me that he isn't close with him. But he does it for me anyway. He misses you daddy. He doesn't say he does, but I can see it. We all do. You need to wake up soon, alright? Pretty please...for me?

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

I love you daddy. And I know you love me too. I don't play outside or with my toys anymore. It's not that I don't have a play buddy to play with. There's always someone who offers to play with me whether it's uncle Clint, Bruce, Thor or Tony, but I don't take them up on that offer. Playing with them is different then playing with you. II are fun, but they aren't my daddy. I miss you so much daddy and so does mommy.

With Love, Sarah


	2. Month 2

**Month 2**

Dear Daddy,

It's been two months and you still haven't woken up. Uncle Bruce is working non-stop to help you feel better. Your booboos are going away, he says that's a good thing. I really miss you. You missed my dance recital, but that's okay because uncle Tony recorded it so you can watch it when you wake up. All you need to do is wake up daddy. Wake up.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

Peter and Wade, my best friends in the whole wide world, say hi daddy and they miss you. Especially our play dates with you where you'd let us stay up past our bed time without mommy knowing or you'd cook an amazing breakfast! Mommy's cooking isn't the same as yours, but it'll do for now. Sometimes Uncle Clint cooks for us too. (Did you know he could cook? I didn't. It came as a shock to everyone. And it's surprisingly good! But of course not as good as yours.) We ate your favorite dinner last night and I ate it all up. Even though I don't like carrots, but I did it for you because you said they'll make me grow up big and strong. I want to grow up like you so I ate them. Wade and Peter did too! They were surprisingly good. Maybe when you wake up we can share our carrots when you or mommy make them for dinner.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

School ends in two month. I'm so excited to become a 6th grader. I won't be in elementary school anymore daddy, I'll be going to a big girl school. But don't worry because no matter where I go, I'll always be your baby. I just hope you'll wake up in time to see me graduate from elementary school. If you don't, its okay I understand. But I'm hoping that won't happen. Wake up soon daddy, please?

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

Everybody's worried. Your booboos stopped getting better. You're not getting worse, but your not getting better either. Because of this mommy convinced the doctors to let me stay with you at night. When it's bed time, I crawl into bed with you- being careful with your booboos- and snuggle up to your side. Do you feel me there?

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

Mommy cries at night. You know she doesn't cry often and things have to be very bad so she can cry. I'm scared. Can you wake up so mommy can stop crying? So I can stop crying?

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

Things at the Tower aren't the same anymore. It's quiet and full of tension. I like staying at the hospital with you better. Home is to painful for mommy and me right now. Everyone comes and visits you. Even uncle Sam, aunt Maria and Uncle Fury came! They miss you daddy. I miss you.

With Love, Sarah


	3. Month 3

**Month 3**

Dear Daddy,

Daddy, you'll never guess what mommy told me today. I'm going to be a big sister! Your going to be a daddy again. Mommy told me that there's a baby in her belly and that you put it there. I don't know how you did it, but thank you so much. I've wanted a baby sibling ever since Peter and Wade got new siblings. Mommy said that the new baby wouldn't be here for another 7 months. That's a long wait, but I'm willing to wait. Now you definitely have to wake up so you can meet the new baby when it's born. Please daddy!

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

Ever since mommy told everyone, except you (she's waiting for the right moment that means), life in the tower came back. It's not quite anymore and we smile and laugh a lot more now. Everyone is excited about the new baby, efficient aunt Pepper and Uncle Tony because they plan to spoil him or her like they did with me. But don't worry, mommy and I won't let them and when you wake up you can take over my job because I'll be helping aunt Pepper and Uncle Tony. Mommy said she is 3 months pregnant. Everyone says they see the baby bump and how mommy glows, but I don't see anything. I can feel the bump when I place my hands on mommy's belly, but I can't see it. And what does everyone mean about mommy glowing? I wonder, if you were awake, would you think mommy glows?

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

Mommy told you today herself that she's having a baby. You moved as soon as she finished. You didn't wake up, but your fingers twitched as if they were trying to reach out and place it on her tummy. Your heart thingy also started beeping out of control. Mommy and I cried, but with tears of joy. That night I stayed up the entire night watching over you, protecting you and waiting for you to open your eyes. You didn't, but I'm confident that you will soon. I'm confidant.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

Today they took the bandages off your head so mommy and I can see your face. The first thing I did when I saw it is I ran my hands through your hair. Mommy did to and said with tears in her eyes that my hair reminds her of yours. We missed seeing your face. It had been so long. Now it's even harder for doctors and mommy to get me away from you. I don't want to leave your side. The only time I do is for school or to go to the restroom. Sometimes mommy lets me start home from school which I know you'd disapprove of, but sometimes I just can't leave you. I can't and won't. You know me, I'm just as stubborn as mommy. So everyone knows better then to argue with me and I end up staying. I love you so much daddy, wake up soon. We may have seen your blonde hair, and tan skin, but what everyone really wants to see is your blue eyes.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

Today wasn't a good day daddy. The only thing that made this day better was being able to see you. You always bring a smile to my face. I love you so much, please wake up soon? I can't stand waiting any longer. We may be right next to each other, but it actually feels like you're hundred miles away from me. Come back to me daddy.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

Mommy, Uncle Tony, Clint and Bruce helped me pick out a middle school for the upcoming school year. It wasn't a hard thing to do. I remember you telling mommy one night that you wanted me to go to go to NYC middle school because they have a great dance and academic program. I was sure of going to that school when we started talking about it. So in only 4 months, I'll officially be a middle schooler. I hope your proud of me.

With Love, Sarah


	4. Month 4

Month 4

Dear Daddy,

When I woke up today I couldn't stop laughing. Mommy walked through you're door pouting. I was going to ask her what's wrong, but then I saw her tummy and laughed. It's not flat anymore daddy. It's round and this time I can actually see it. Mommy wasn't happy that she was getting fat, but in my opinion I think that she's still very beautiful. Even with the belly. But when I tell her, she doesn't believe me. You need to wake up and tell her yourself because she'll believe you.

With Love, Sarah

Dear Daddy,

I overheard the adults talking when they left the room to talk about you. I wasn't spying, I promise because I know you wouldn't like that. They were just being a bit too loud. Uncle Bruce said that at the rate you're healing, we're going to have to remove your from the hospital and into the medical center in the tower. Isn't that great news?! Daddy your coming home! Granted, it's not under the circumstances we'd all want, but that's not the point. The point is your coming home. With this session, I never have to leave you unless I'm going to school. I can be with you 24/7 until the day you wake up. I'm so excited! Are you?

With Love, Sarah

Dear Daddy,

My gosh daddy, did you know there was so much to buy for babies? They are very tiny things so do they really need all this stuff? Mommy and aunt Pepper took me baby shopping and we spent over 5 hours going from store to store. And guess what? We're not even done yet! Aunt Pepper says there's still the nursery to be done, the baby shower and the day of the actual birth. I don't think I wanna have a baby. It's too much work. I wish you were here so you'd help us get everything ready.

With Love, Sarah

Dear Daddy,

I miss you. Wake up, please. I miss being able to talk to you. I need my daddy back.

With Love, Sarah

Dear Daddy,

Sorry about the last letter. Mommy said I wrote it in a moment of weakness. But I really mean what I said. I love you and I hope you wake up soon.

With Love, Sarah

Dear Daddy,

Daddy today was the last day of elementary school! My class and I had a huge party. And mommy, uncle Tony, uncle Thor, uncle Bruce and Uncle Clint came for show and tell. Mommy wore her cat suit, but left majority of her weapons at home. She only took a taser, one hand gun and a pair of handcuffs. Everyone wanted to try them out so mommy handcuff half the class! Uncle Tony brought the suit, uncle Clint brought his arrows and Uncle Thor showed Mjolnir. Uncle Bruce just answered any questions my class had about the Hulk. Everyone attempted to pick up Mjolnir, but of course no one could. Today was so much fun! My only regret is that I wish you were there with us. It would've make today 10 times better. But it's okay, I understand. Only because you couldn't come today, mommy brought your shield and everyone wanted to touch it and take pictures. So it felt as if you were there. I miss you daddy, I love you.

With Love, Sarah


	5. Month 5

Month 5

Dear Daddy,

Happy Birthday! Today's the fourth of July, exactly 5 months since the mission that put you in here. I wish you were awake up to celebrate with us, but that's okay. Since you couldn't bring the party to us, we brought it to you. Uncle Tony, Thor and Clint set up the hospital room in birthday decorations, with Uncle Bruce's permission of course. Uncle Bruce helped me get ready and dressed today while mommy and aunt Pepper cooked all your favorite food and bought you lots of presents. I'm wearing the outfit you bought me for my 9th birthday. And mommy, of course, is wearing her maternity clothing because she can't fit in her clothes anymore. Everyone gathered in your room and it wasn't a sad day like we all thought it would be. It was very happy and everyone was laughing and smiling. Even if you weren't awake, it felt as if you were. Mommy and I blew out you're candles for you and we're saving the presents for you when you wake up. We want you to open them. Uncle Clint played music, Aunt Pepper hosted the games we played and Uncle Tony went through his daddy stuff and found a video of one of your shows. Don't be mad, but we watched it in your hospital room in the middle of the party. It wasn't Uncle Tony's idea, it was mine. So be upset with me. But daddy when I heard you speak on the video I started crying because I miss your voice so much. I miss talking to you and laughing with you. I wasn't the only one who cried. Mommy and aunt Pepper did too! The uncles were to 'macho' to cry, but I have to admit I saw them get teary eyed. That was only sad part to your birthday party. After that aunt Pepper did a great job at distracting us and we went about our day celebrating your birthday. My only regret of today was that you weren't awake to celebrate it with us. Happy Birthday Daddy, I love you. I miss you like crazy. We all do. Wake up soon.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

When we came to visit you today, Uncle Bruce have us exciting news. He was said that now that mommy is far along in the pregnancy, he could tell us the gender of the baby! Mommy and I both agreed that we wanted to know. Uncle Bruce is going to examine mommy in two weeks, on her next appointment. Mommy didn't want to do it immediately in hopes that you would wake up before the next appointment. So you need to wake up daddy so we can find out the gender of the baby together. As a family!

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

Daddy I'm so confused. I wanted to talk to mommy about this and ask advice on what I should do, but it feels right coming to you. Okay so here it goes... Peter came over to play with me today. But during our play date, he did something he's never done before. He kissed me on the cheek. I didn't say anything about it until he was about to leave. Peter looked me straight in the eye and told me he liked me. Not the friend like, but a crush like then he left. He didn't give me time to answer and left me standing there. What should I do?

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

Guess what happened to mommy today daddy! Mommy felt the baby kick in her tummy and so did I! It felt weird feeling something kick my hands, but sweet all the same. I'm now triple excited for the new baby to come. What do you think it's going to be? I want a baby brother. Uncle Tony started a betting pool. Mommy, uncle Bruce (he honestly didn't know the gender so he could bet), uncle Clint and I think it's a boy. Aunt Pepper, uncle Tony, and Uncle Thor think it's another girl. Mommy believes this new baby will look like you. I do too because I look more like mommy. I can't wait to meet the new baby and I know you can't either. Wake up please! The baby's coming in 4 months!

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

AUNTIE PEPPER AND UNCLE TONY ARE GETTING MARRIED! It's so exciting! He asked tonight at dinner after he held an emergency Avenger dinner. He wouldn't tell anyone why, he just told us to put on nice clothing. Mommy and I walked onto uncle Tony's floor and found him standing there in a tux by the dining table where there were all of auntie Pepper's favorite food. When everyone arrived, we sat down and made small talk. I didn't, I was to curious to do anything. Finally I got fed up and exploded. I started everyone web I shouted. I yelled "I can't take it anymore! What did you call us here for!" And then uncle Tony proposed. It was the sweetest thing ever. The ring is beautiful daddy. If I get married I want a ring like auntie Pepper's. The wedding will be a few weeks after mommy has the baby. And I'm going to be the flower girl and I'm helping auntie Pepper plan it. I can't wait! It's going to be perfect.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

Mommy signed me up for dance lessons today. Her and Uncle Clint and me went. Uncle Tony brought me 15 pairs of leotards and lots of leggings, with aunt Pepper's help of course. Uncle Thor offered to take me days when mommy can't and Uncle Bruce got me three new pairs of ballet shoes. They are all being very supportive of my voice to become a professional dancer. And I know whatever I chose to do in life I'll always have your and mommy's support. Hopefully you'll be awake before my first dance concert. I really want you there, it would make that night 100 times better. Please promise to be there? Please?

With Love, Sarah


	6. Month 6

Month 6

Dear Daddy,

What would you say if I were to tell you that I have a boyfriend? That's right. Peter asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes. Well, to be honest, auntie Pepper, uncle Thor and Uncle Tony said yes first while uncle Clint strictly said no. Uncle Bruce was indifferent about this, but I could tell that he was very amused. Mommy just smiled and looked at me expectantly, waiting for me answer. So because she didn't look mad, I said yes. Please don't be mad? I've liked Peter since we've been in diapers. I couldn't pass off this opportunity. I promise, this relationship will be strictly innocent. You can trust me daddy, mommy does. The most we'll ever do is hold hands and kiss on the cheek. I promise. Besides you know Peter, you told me that you liked him because he was good kid. Hopefully you'll accept this, mommy does.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

Today's the day! Today's the day! Your coming home daddy! Are you excited? Everyone is. Even though you're not awake, it such a relief to have you back home. That way I can stay with you all day and not have to worry about you waking up alone in the hospital. I'm going to stay down with you and I'm bringing Teddy the Bear down to do he can sleep with us. I can't bring my other stuff animals. Mommy said I can only bring one so I picked Teddy. He can't wait to see you, neither can I! I won't be home when you get there, I'll be at school, but I'll see you after. I promise. I love you!

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

Uncle Thor told me something amazing today! He said that'd he'd be willing to take mommy, you and I to Asgard for the part of the summer. Daddy now you have to wake up because I'm so excited and I want to go. I haven't seen grandpa Odin and grandma Frigga for a long time! Also the warriors three, uncle Loki and auntie Sif. Uncle Thor said that if we wanted to go we could go now, but mommy and I didn't want to go without you. Wake up soon!

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

IT'S A BOY! MOMMY'S HAVING A BOY! I'm going to be a big sister to a baby boy! Mommy and I are so happy and we hope you'll be too when you wake up. Uncle Bruce, uncle Clint, mommy and I won the betting pool. But, because he's uncle Tony, he started another one. The appearance and personality of the baby. Green or blue eyes? Red or blonde hair? Who will the baby act more like? Mommy or you? This like that. Also we even did names. The people not allowed to do the naming bet is mommy and me because, of course, she's naming him and I'll be helping her pick out boy names. The baby's coming in 3 months. Mommy is getting bigger every day and she looks beautiful, even when she's pregnant. I wish you could see what I see daddy. Mommy is really beautiful. I'm so excited for the new baby, I promise to be the best big sister I ever could be to him.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

Today uncle Clint gave me my very first archery lesson. Don't get mad because mommy said he could. I'm using a beginner's bow so the arrows don't have a pointy edge like uncle's. Mommy said the edges are made of velcro. Archery is so much fun! But it's very hard. Uncle Clint makes it look so easy, only its not! My first arrow didn't even touch the target. It hit the wall. Uncle Clint kept making, what he calls, bullseye every arrow he shot. I only made one that lesson, but I was very proud of myself. So was uncle Clint and mommy. They said I'm a fast learner and if I continue to practice, with uncle Clint's supervision and mommy's permission, I'm going to be just as good as uncle Clint. I'm having another lesson this Saturday with him in the morning after breakfast. I'm so excited! I wonder what other things I can do besides archery?

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

My first day of the dance lessons mommy signed me up for went amazing daddy! I was taught so much. I can actually do a 'pas de boure'. You probably don't know what that means, but you'll soon find out. When you wake I'm going to show you all the dance moves I've learned and, if you want, I'll teach them to you so you can dance with me. Don't forget daddy, my dance concert is In another four months! You have to be awake by then that way you can see me since you missed my school one.

With Love, Sarah


	7. Month 7

Month 7

Dear Daddy,

Daddy I started having bad dreams. Really bad. I wake up everyone at night with my screens. They're different though. My dreams. Every night it's something new, but as equally scary. And they're all of you. Of something bad happening to you.. Don't die daddy, please? You have to live so you can meet your son, my baby brother. You have to. The Avengers need you. The world needs you. But Mommy, the baby and I need you even more. You need to fight, fight hard. I love you so much, I need my daddy.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

Now that we know the gender of the baby, aunt Pepper took mommy and me back to the store so we could buy a lot more can't stuff. Like diapers, a crib, bottles and boy clothes. Babies are so tiny. I could tell when we were buying the baby's new clothes. I couldn't help, but gasp when I saw them. Was I that tiny when I was a baby? It's hard to believe because look at me now. I'm not tiny! I'm big because I'm a big girl. Mommy says I'm bigger than most girls are because I take after you in height. Is that true? Anyway it took us hours before aunt Pepper said we could go home. I didn't keep track of the time, but I know we were there longer than the last time. Now I definitely don't want kids in the future. They're so much work. I'm good with just being your baby and not having any of my own. I love you daddy.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

My hearing is getting bad daddy. Really bad. I can't hear what I use to anyone. Some days my hearing will be amazing and I don't have anything to worry about, but other days it scares me how much I have to use sign language to tell mommy and the others what I need. Uncle Bruce examined me and I sat right next to you on your bed, holding your hand. He said that my hearings going out. I'm going to have to use what Uncle Clint uses, hearing-aids, soon. Uncle Bruce doesn't know when it will fully go out, but he said that they'll be ready when it does. I'm scared. Does this mean I'm not normal? That something is wrong with me? I'm so scared. I wish you were awake so you could hold me and tell me everything's going to be alright. I need to hear your voice daddy myself, before I have to have aids to help me hear you. Wake up soon, please!

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

Because the summer was almost over Uncle Thor went ahead and took mommy and I to Asgard. We tried waiting for you as long as we could, but if we waited any longer it would've been too late. And I wanted to go so badly. We brought you back a souvenir though. It was so great seeing Uncle Loki, the warriors three, auntie Sif and grandpa Odin and grandma Frigga. The warriors three and auntie Sif gave mommy and I a tour of the entire palace. It's so big daddy! Uncle Tony's tower is bigger in height, but Grandpa Odin's palace takes up a lot more space. Uncle Loki and Uncle Thor took me horseback riding while mama stayed and talked with grandma Frigga. I rode an eight legged house named Sleipnir. After, Grandpa Odin let me sit on his throne and made me feel like a princess. Grandma Frigga gave me a bunch of presents like dresses and a pretty necklace that she said had magical powers. As long as I wore it, it will protect me from any physical harm. My name was engraved on it. It says 'Sarah Elizabeth Rogers'. Grandma Frigga said that this necklace is mine and mine only. I can't wait till you wake up so you can see it. It's so beautiful daddy. I love it with all my heart. Sadly our amazing trip came to an end, but Uncle Thor promised to bring us again because grandma Frigga and Grandpa Odin wants to see the new baby. Maybe next time you can come with us.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

Uncle Bruce finally got over his fear of hurting the people he brings into his life. Mommy and I convinced him to call the girl he broke up with. I think he said her name was Betty. Well he did and now he has a date with her on Saturday. Auntie Pepper and I took him to the store to buy him an outfit fit his date. He was red in the face the entire time he came out to show us his outfits. Uncle Tony called it flustered. By the end of the trip, Uncle Bruce had a nice outfit and hair due for Saturday. All thanks to auntie Pepper and me. He's going to look amazing. I'll make sure to get pictures for you in case you don't wake up in time to see him all dressed up. I promise.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

I turned 11 years old today daddy. It's my birthday! You weren't awake to celebrate with us, but you did move today. Your hand twitched when I grabbed your hand. I was so happy. It was honestly all I wanted for my birthday. To know that you're okay and that you know what today is. Or that you can hear us. Uncle Tony threw me a birthday bash with the kids from my elementary school. But the night before, at midnight (mommy let me stay up), mommy, you and I had a private party of our own. It was small, but it meant a lot more than the birthday bash did because it was just me, mommy, you and baby brother. We still haven't decided a name for him so until we do I'm calling him baby brother. Mommy and I are thinking. Mommy brought a cupcake down to the medical center where I was sitting on your bed reading you a story and brushing your hair. It had one candle on top of it. I blew it out after mommy sang a quiet "Happy Birthday." I cried. Not because I was sad, but because I was happy. It was all I could all for, being with my parents I my birthday and having them safe and healthy. It was the best birthday ever.

With Love, Sarah


	8. Month 8

Month 8

Dear Daddy,

Today school starts. I am excited and scared at the same time. Scared because it was a new school and I was afraid I would make any new friends. Mommy said middle school will be a lot different than elementary. But what I fear the most is that when I'm at school you'll wake up. I'm excited because the school has an amazing dance program and I know I'm going to learn so much. I wish you were awake so badly so you could see me off to school today. But its okay, mommy and Uncle Bruce will do it. Just wake up soon, please.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

Guess what! My English and science teacher told me I was too smart to be in a regular English and Science class. Ms. Viesca (My English teacher) and Ms. Williams (My science teacher) talked to momma and Uncle Clint about me. (it was supposed to be you and mommy, but Uncle Clint filled in for your place) Starting next week I'll be in a 7th grade accelerated English and science class. I would've been put in for a regular 7th grade math too, but I'm not that great at it so I kept it at accelerated 6th grade. Mommy's so proud of me, I hope you are. To celebrate Uncle Tony took us out to eat, my choice. I chose In N Out. I'm so excited. School isn't as bad as I thought it would be, I'm actually starting to enjoy it. Hopefully the accelerated classes offer me more of a challenge.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

My dance teacher loves me! Like really, really loves me! She said I'm an excellent dancer and a wonderful student. I really try my best to learn and do the more advanced moves that aren't required for the beginners. It takes a while, but I finally succeed in doing it. I guess practice does make perfect. Also I have momma as a dance teacher. Of course she's not doing right now because of the baby, but she's watching and giving help on things that need it. My teacher said if I continue to do this I might be bumped up to the advance dance class by the end of the semester.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

It happened daddy. It actually happened. Uncle Bruce said it was going to happen one day, but I didn't know it was going to be this soon. I woke up today scared because I couldn't hear anything. All the sounds in my room were gone. My musical lamp was on, but no music was playing. And when I started to cry I didn't hear that either! Mommy and Uncle Bruce came into my room sometime later. And I didn't even know there were there until I felt momma's arms around me. Uncle Bruce was trying to talk to me, but I couldn't hear him so I kept on crying like a baby in mommy's arms. Mommy started crying too because she couldn't help me, except let Uncle Bruce and Uncle Tony take care of me. It took a whole 2 hours before I could hear again. Uncle Bruce and Tony implanted a hearing aid in me and now that the volume is up I can hear again. It was the scariest 2 hours of my life. The hearing aid is only slight uncomfortable and I can only feel it when I tilt my head. Uncle Bruce said I can't sleep on the side with the hearing aid in my ear because it will muffle sound and I can't hear as well. Also I might ruin it. This is so weird. I haven't let go of mommy since I got my hearing aids. She's the only thing keeping me from falling apart. I cant believe it though… I had just lost my hearing. I cant hear without help anymore.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

I'm still getting use to the hearing aid being in my ear. I cant feel it anymore, but knowing it's there bothers me. I cant believe I cant hear on my own anymore. Uncle Bruce said that I can still do the things I like to do. My hearing aid doesn't prevent me from doing anything I love. It didn't make me feel better because I feel like a freak. I wish you were awake daddy, I need you right now.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

I overheard Uncle Bruce talking to momma. He pulled her out of the room where I was reading you a story before bed. I heard him what he told her… You're not getting better daddy. In fact, you're getting worse. You should've woken up by now, but you haven't. Uncle Bruce is afraid and scared that you wont ever wake up. Now you have to wake up because you're scaring everyone, especially mommy and me. We need you. James need you. You have to wake up soon! Uncle Bruce is scared that if you don't wake up soon that we'll have to let you go. It's been too long he said. Wake up daddy! Wake up, wake up, WAKE UP! PLEASE!

… Sarah


	9. Month 9

Month 9

Dear Daddy,

You're looking worse daddy. You're not getting better. Your skin is getting pale and your hair isn't blonde anymore. It's looking white. You're starting to scare me daddy because you look so much weaker. Is it true? Have you stopped fighting? Please tell me you are. You can't leave us, especially now. Brother is about to be born in 2 weeks. You can't leave us fatherless. We need you. Mommy needs you. Please fight. I beg you. I love you so much and I can't lose you.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

We had a project to do in English. We had to make a presentation about someone who we thought of as our hero. Also we had to write an essay about them. I wrote about you. Mommy, uncles and aunt Pepper helped me make my presentation, but I wrote my essay myself. Mommy made a copy of it so I could give it to you to read. It's inside this envelope. When you wake up, you can read it. I miss you so much.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

TODAY IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE! YOU FINALLY WOKE UP! I came home and when no one came to say "Hi", JARVIS told me everyone was in the medical center. I got scared and ran downstairs as fast as I could only to see your blue eyes staring at me and you smiling at me. I couldn't stop crying. I ran into your arms after the initial shock passed. Your voice was weak and hoarse, but I didn't care. You were awake, that's all that mattered. I didn't let go of you after that while everyone talk to you about what you missed. You cried when you saw momma's belly and apologized for not being there for her and me. I didn't care because all that mattered to us was that you finally woke up. But what really made my day was when you looked me in the eye and said "I love you". After telling you that so many times in the last couple of months with no reply, it felt like the best feeling in the world knowing that you were awake and you could finally say it back. It made my day so much better and I couldn't have been happier. Seeing you and mommy kiss when you told her you loved her didn't make me groan like it used to, it made me smile even bigger. Well it made Uncle Tony groan, but not me. It's so wonderful that woke up now because brother is going to be born really soon. Uncle Bruce said so. I'm so happy that you'll finally be able to meet your son when he's born. We both are cause mommy wants me in the delivery room when it's time. I'm so glad we wont have to be in there alone with Uncle Bruce. Now that you're awake, you can be with us and help us through it. Thank you so much for finally waking up. When I said I loved you before going to bed in your arms, you said it back and I couldn't knock the smile off my face for the rest of the night.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

I know that you're awake and that I can talk to you, but writing letters has become a big part of my life and daily routine that I don't intend to stop just because you're awake. Mommy understands my reasoning completely because she has been with me every time I write my letters to you. We would sit in your bedroom at your guy's desk and I would while she would read on the bed. If I had trouble with words she'd help me and she'd proof read my letter before enclosing it in the letter. There are a few letters that were exception and Uncle Bruce had to read them. He understands too why I keep writing them. So here's my first letter of you finally being awake!  
>You're getting better daddy. So much better. Your color and strength is coming back. You can squeeze my hand again. I haven't left your side since you woke up two days ago. I only missed a day of school of school because it's the weekend and only one dance lesson. Mommy and you are trying to get me to go to school, but I refuse. We made a compromise because I did. I can miss Monday and Tuesday, but have to go to school on Wednesday if I can stay sleeping with you at night. Mommy tried to get me to go back to my room, but I couldn't leave you. I talked to you constantly for these past two days and you never stopped me, you only listened with a smile on your face. We also had started to go through the letters I had written you since you first went into the hospital. We had just finished month two by the time the weekend ended. You were so happy that I kept track of everything that was going on in mine and mommy's life. You said my letters helped me understand what you missed and it gave you an inside view of how I was feeling. It was the best gift ever you said. I cried again and I cried for hours that day while you held me. Mommy came back to the room after her doctor's appointment with Uncle Bruce and daddy held us both as we cried. It was a bittersweet moment, and yet I didn't want to be disturbed by anyone. Because this moment belonged to you, me, brother and mommy.<p>

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

I made it dad! I made it! At my school I tried out for the cheerleading team. Tryouts were last Monday (before you woke up) and today the list was posted. It's been five days since you've woken up. I barely came back to school today, Wednesday. I'm on the cheerleading team for next year! I've got a lot on my plate now. Dance in and out of school, accelerated classes and now cheerleading. I hope I can keep up with everything, but I know with you and everyone else I can manage.

With Love, Sarah

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Dear Daddy,

You and I woke up in the middle of the night to sound of Uncle Bruce's voice. It was mommy. Her water broke. Because you were still too weak, you couldn't get out of bed and since mommy demanded to have you by her side while she gave birth, Uncle Bruce and Uncle Thor rolled her bed in your room. You had a big room so yours and mommy's bed, along with the rest of the family fit in very comfortably. It felt amazing having you there before no one could calm mommy down the way you could. Not even I. She snapped at me three times while she was pain, and I admit I cried once, but I didn't let her words hurt me. You held me when I cried the one time and comforted me. Then after the pain went away, mommy held me and apologized for snapping at me. I understood why she did it, I just didn't expect it. Thank God I had you there with me because I knew then and there, I wouldn't have been able to survive this delivery without you. I was still so tired from being woken up, but I was determined to stay awake long enough to see this birth and see my baby brother. It was an exciting experience, well at least to you and I. Mommy had other colorful thoughts on that. I can only write this much right now because my brother is about to born any minute, I'll tell you the rest of the experience after the baby is born and we all have met him, I promise.

With Love, Sarah

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Little did 11 year old Sarah know this letter would be the last letter she would write to Steve when he was awake...

Forever.


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